Mistaken Identities

I really need to wear my glasses more often. While I was coming out of the Phoenicia Pharmacy, I saw my boyfriend, John, in his familiar gray hoodie reading the menu of Sweet Sue's with his back to me. I went in for the tush squeeze (really, who could resist?) only to startle a man who was distinctly NOT John. Same gray hoodie, same body type, but once he turned around, clearly Asian...and clearly shocked. Mortified, I saw John way down the block, standing behind what I thought was my Honda Element. Again, another mistaken identity. I have a few bumper stickers on my car, but not this degree of sticker shock!

We spent a few minutes reading them all, while I contemplated never showing my face in Phoenicia again.
Yes, that's me (in glasses!) being reflected alongside John, sans his hoodie.


  1. Beth, just baptize yourself in the Esopus and you'll be fine. Something tells me that a guy would not so easily get away with a "tush squeeze," mistaken identity or not. - Jon A.

  2. Oh, please--you gave that guy a GREAT story to tell his friends!

  3. PS I woulda given you a dollar to put a piece of raw meat on that hippie's car. Five, even.

  4. Whose butt did you squeeze, Jon? Did you end up in the Esopus? Actually, I've gotta stop this - it happens a lot. I mistakenly grope a guy in public, thinking he's John, and all sorts of apologies and blushes ensue.

    Laura - LMAO! But I couldn't. It must be one of those idealistic college kids. My pinto looked like that back in the 70s.