Security for Dummies

Do you crave the peace of mind that comes with owning a home security system but don't want the hassle involved with rigging up booby-traps or the expense of paying thousands of dollars for sensors and alarms? For a fraction of the time and cost, Acme is offering the Chaise Lounge Dummy. No assembly required - just prop this bad boy in a lawn chair and he does the rest, affording you the confidence in knowing that intruders will be too creeped out to target your home. For just $199.95, you'll get the basic model fully garbed in a rugged t-shirt and baseball cap! But that's not all - If you place your order by midnight tonight, you can choose (at NO cost to you) one of the following Chaise Lounge Dummy ensembles to suit any mood or occasion: 
  • Astronaut
  • Elvis Presley (Rhinestone Jumpsuit Era)
  • Arthur Fonzarelli
  • Flavor Flav
  • James Bond
  • Snuffy Smith (with realistic "moonshine" jug)
  • Kung Fu Fighter
  • Nascar Driver
  • Dirty Hippie
  • Magician
  • Santa Claus
  • Mickey Mouse
  • Jesus
  • Drag Queen

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